CONFIDENCE DECODED

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Simply Believing In Yourself - Bénabou & Tirole, 2002


Corey Boutwell - Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1336942



What Is Self Confidence?


According to my research confidence is a result of loving yourself cultivating your inner power which is therefore your confidence.


Confidence = Inner Power


Confidence is not a personality trait it is a skill which is a side effect of good health, progress and purpose.


Those who are physically fit, healthy, happy with themselves, their body and who they are as a human tend to have a greater energy as their confidence radiates.


Those who have poor health, are unfit, eat terribly, get poor sleep, look unwell and are disconnected to their purpose obviously seem less confident.


Even if people in this state are quite confident, I would like to make the point that they could be more confident if they sorted out their foundations of health.


Therefore, if you do not have confidence or you would like to become more confident I personally think you should focus on prioritising your health first.


NOTE: MOMENTUM IS ALWAYS MOVING.


Whether momentum is moving forward or backwards it is always moving in one direction.


Those who are succeed, be happy, learn and grow keep on succeeding, being happy, learning and growing.


Those who are anxious, depressed and find life difficult will keep on being anxious, depressed and finding life difficult.


The only thing you can do here is to either keep momentum moving or CHANGE YOUR MOMENTUM.


Focusing on making your health a priority will help you to build or increase FORWARD MOMENTUM! This can be done by achieving small wins and building a good foundation of yourself.


Setting yourself up for success with forward moment is so critical for your self esteem and confidence.

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MY PROOF

After competing in various physique and bodybuilding shows where I have goals set, and a plan of action to keep achieving small tasks gets me used the increased frequency of these small wins and therefore, confidence grows.


Once competitions finish there is a term known as "post comp blues". A large portion of athletes get post comp blues after their competitions are over. Post comp blues is essentially a spiral of depression that can ultimately really affect someone's livelihood and self confidence plummets.


As you are so used to winning every day leading up to a very significant event you are filled with exciting emotions and a sense of purpose (reason for being alive). When comps are over people lose their purpose as there is no structure to follow, no goals to achieve and no reason to keep doing the little things which increase forward momentum.


This is living in limbo and this limbo kills self confidence.


WHAT YOU CAN DO HERE IS SET MORE GOALS AND MILESTONES FOR YOURSELF.


The key is to know that momentum is always moving. Therefore, if you set more goals, and milestones for yourself to keep making small wins, your mood, sense of accomplishment and overall wellbeing get back on track or keep on improving. Have you ever heard of the term winners win? ;)


My personal plan in life is to be an ELITE HUMAN SPECIMEN.


What does that include:

  1. A Clear Purpose, Passion and Impact

  2. Physical strength and fitness at a world class level

  3. The healthiest human body and mind I could ever possibly achieve

  4. Extreme wealth, freedom and successfulness in business

  5. Humble, kind and compassionate human that can take responsibility for themselves and others with a sense of patience

Am I there yet? Absolutely not, but I work towards these goals every day, week, month and year.


My goal of bodybuilding is just an excuse to chase these goals. It is not the be all and end all. Hence, even after a huge competition I have more to chase and do to achieve these goals which help keep my momentum moving forward.


When my moment starts to fall backwards I remind myself of this ambition and start with the small wins of physiological health and things that I value like cleanliness and learning in order to get that momentum moving forward.

Like Yourself For The Good & The Bad. Overcome & Embrace Yourself


The opposite of confidence is having low self esteem meaning you do not value yourself.


2 Important Questions To Ask Yourself:

  1. Why do you or would you not value yourself?

  2. Where are you struggling with giving in to resistance in your life? (meaning where do you find things that are hard or difficult and do you back away from any of them)

Just knowing these points determines where you need to imply discipline.


Discipline: Doing the things you know you need to do that you hate like you love them.

Self Efficacy

Self Esteem and Self Efficacy are not confidence but they components that make up self confidence.

However, building your self esteem and self efficacy by doing the small foundational things to increase respect for yourself can dramatically increase your confidence.


Self Esteem is your perceived self worth and self value.


Self Efficacy is an individual’s beliefs to influence the events in their own lives and the ability to handle future situations.


Self Confidence is simply belief in oneself or trust in one's own abilities, capacities and judgements, or belief that you can successfully face day to day challenges and demands.


IMPORTANT QUOTE: We live in a time when our problems ARE NOT so obvious and the solutions ARE NOT that complex.


This can be due to our highly distracted plugged in and immediate gratification world of 2020.


We are disconnected and unaware of our not so complex problems that we lose self esteem (value in ourselves), self efficacy (belief to influence our own life) which leads on to a decrease in confidence (belief in ourselves) and the worst part it.........WE HAVE NO IDEA WHY!


The point being here that getting clear on the non complex problems we need to do in order to increase self esteem and self efficacy can be drastically beneficial for our self confidence.


We seem so busy or distracted with ours lives, work, business, what other people think of us, t.v., social media, life, holidays and buying things that we forget to focus our own needs of humanity......which is essential our very own overall health.

Self Confidence


Studies clearly show that self confidence brings about more happiness and confidence in one's own abilities = a happier self due to an increase rate of success.


When we are confident in our capabilities the more energised and motivated we get to take action to achieve our goals.........= Forward Momentum >>


Not So Complex To Get Self Confidant........ Just Saying:


1. This study clearly shows the link between physical activity and how it increases self esteem.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5068479/


2. This study indicates how poor diet leads to poor self esteem and a healthy diet leads to high self esteem.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2801825/


3. This study demonstrates the link between sleep and how poor sleep decreases self esteem and good quality sleep increases self esteem.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23055029/


4. This study shows the positive effects of meditation on one's own self worth, value and self esteem.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4310269/


All we need to do is to optimise our daily and weekly routines to reflect these and make it a habit.

DEEP DIVE

Maslows Hierarchy of needs may be outdated but luckily I updated it. You can listen to my podcast episode 2 too deep dive into it.


PODCAST CLICk LINK HERE: Impact Your Life Impact The World: The Secret Guide To Achieve It!


You can view the hierarchy below. This gives you a structure to climb to move forward to increase your self esteem and confidence. You prioritise and sort out everything you can on the bottom foundations in order to move up a level. The aim is to keep moving up levels and keep on increasing self esteem and confidence. This cultivates your inner power.

TMT TERROR MANAGEMENT THEORY


This is a theory that is more on the darker side of things and using them in order to increase self confidence.


Terror Management Theory or TMT suggests that exposure to the darker side of things mentally builds up resilience. This makes sense as:

  • Alan Watts claims people should think about death regularly to increase motivation and develop their view of the world.

  • Jordan Peterson claims that being exposed to the dark side of yourself helps you get better at dealing with it.

  • You may have heard the term "that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger" by Friedrich Nietzsche, again meaning the more I am exposed to danger the better I can at handling it.

TMT says that self esteem is a buffer against anxiety. Meaning that self esteem can act as a shield against anxiety. The more self esteem you have the less likely anxiety.


Humans hold great potential for responding with terror to the awareness of their own mortality and that world views emphasise peoples lives in their own significance as humans protect them against this terror. - Greenberg & Arndt 2011


Meaning, humans aware of their own mortality that can relate this mortality to their own significance as a human. This influences their view of the world by increasing motivation and drive to live a life they really want to live. Hence, self confidence increases when one starts to take initiative. Therefore, actually starting forward momentum.


Confidence can also be developed by learning how to deal with disappointment effectively this can be done by killing off backwards momentum.

Forward Momentum


An entrepreneurial study illustrated that by continually learning and growing you increase the chance of self esteem, efficacy, confidence and entrepreneurial intention. This means that by choosing to learn and grow and increase inner expansion you follow along with forward momentum.


Ryan Holiday mentions: Don't sit and wait for self confidence, know you have to get after it to get it.


This means actively chasing self confidence. Being aware that you are not confident or could be more confident and then doing the things you value in yourself to increase your confidence.


Friedrich Nietzsche mentions: If you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes into you.


This means what you focus on will reflect onto you. Are your thoughts and inner dialogue focused on negative, anxiety and depression type things? Or are they focused on positive, self esteem filling thoughts and encouraging dialogue? Which ever your mind is full of or focuses its attention on will result in a reflection of who you are and people will notice.


Friedrich Nietzsche mentions: Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.


Meaning you cannot memorise confidence, confidence is momentum confidence is a skill learnt and earnt that continually needs refilling. Situations and circumstances are always changing and evolving, confidence needs to grow with you.


You have daily and habitual rituals like brushing your teeth and making coffee. You also have daily and habitual thoughts and mindsets. If your rituals, internal and external are not contributing to the forward momentum of self confidence then they might be decreasing or stagnating your positive self beliefs.


Questions:

  1. What daily rituals are you currently doing that do not contribute to self confidence?

  2. What daily rituals are you currently doing that do contribute to self confidence?

  3. Is your routine too safe and comfortable that its losing forward momentum? Can you leave your safe routine in order to upgrade and make yourself better?

I am repeating this lasting question for its pure significance and that Paul Check asks it:


Is your routine too safe and comfortable that its losing forward momentum? Can you leave your safe routine in order to upgrade and make yourself better?

Be Aware of Arrogance:


Arrogance kills self confidence: if you think you deserve or you demand or you expect affection, success or transformation.... it will never occur. Instead you will be left in most cases with some sort of disappointment or rejection that can then lead to blame and narcissistic tendencies.


This can be avoided by making sure you practice humility (being humble), gratitude, respect and communicating through action (doing instead of saying or talking). Practicing these will increase forward momentum.


As a result of taking care for yourself and practicing things like gratitude journals, meditation, getting a good sleep and being fit and healthy reduces the risk of stress by increasing your resilience to stress physically and mentally.


This means you give yourself the best chance to be grateful, humble, relaxed and confident.


I personally think that:

  1. Distraction

  2. Rushing and impatience

  3. Exhausted stress levels

  4. Immediate gratification

  5. Low self esteem

All reduce your awareness of your own ego and arrogance. I find personally when I experience any of these I am much more unaware and disconnected with myself leading to arrogant behaviours which then lead to regret which leads into backwards momentum..... damn.

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What Can I Do From Here?


As Paul Check says: "To get confident you need a good solid foundation".


What does this mean?


This means to sort out all of the simple things in your routine so that you can build your own self esteem and self efficacy in order to create confidence. Make your own forward momentum happen.


To do this you must also live towards your values and focus conscious time and energy on yourself even if it’s hard to...even if there is some dark stuff that you may not like or you experience resistance in facing.


Firstly focus on your most basic values... which are all relatively the same. Remember, We live in a time when our problems ARE NOT so obvious and the solutions ARE NOT that complex.


What we value on a human level is .... feeling good and well.


How do we feel good and well?


Firstly we focus on getting the following rituals and habits routined:

  1. Sleep

  2. Hydration

  3. Being clean and cleaning up after yourself

  4. Healthy eating

  5. Training to get fit

  6. Effective rest and recharging

  7. Resting emotionally

  8. Gratitude journaling

  9. Meditating

  10. Continually learning and growing.

What to do:


Create a schedule and prioritise these things and your self confidence will increase, your energy will increase and you will be more resistant to stress. Your self esteem will increase and your shield of anxiety buffer will be so large that anxiousness will struggle to get through.


Action Points:


1. Go through all the points above and just write down next to them what you are going to do this week that could improve all of those things.

2. Write out a schedule and add these things in.


Next Steps:


Do a simple journal to figure out what you value. Ask yourself the question "what are the top 5 or 10 things that I value?"


Write them out. You can even Google lists of values and have a look.


Or you can take either of the two tests linked below which can help you get more clear.


Then all you need to do is try to live by those values.


Tests:

  1. 16 personalities test

  2. Personal values assessment

Questions & Inquiries

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Thank you so much for reading this bad boy I think there are some absolute nuggets in here. If you have any questions please send them to boutcore@gmail.com


Big love

Corey


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References

  1. https://positivepsychology.com/self-confidence/

  2. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Helisia_Margahana/publication/331688805_Self_efficacy_self_personality_and_self_confidence_on_entrepreneurial_intention_Study_on_young_enterprises/links/5c94ca3ba6fdccd46031ef79/Self-efficacy-self-personality-and-self-confidence-on-entrepreneurial-intention-Study-on-young-enterprises.pdf

  3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5068479/

  4. https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2015/02/26/build-self-confidence-5strategies/?sh=46c339626ade

  5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyHEVe5dQh0

  6. https://www.nicknotas.com/blog/5-nietzsche-quotes-on-confidence-attraction-and-the-best-way-to-get-a-woman/

  7. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5068479/

  8. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2801825/

  9. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23055029/

  10. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4310269/


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